New Beginnings

Well HOLY SHIT!

I thought, hey maybe I'll just start a new blog, but we all know that won't go anywhere. So I will just add on to this one.

The amount of things that have changed in my life since the last entry, November, is mind blowing.

I had a moment of clarity. I decided how tired I am of saying that I'm going to do things and not doing them. I'm a notorious flake and at times I'm ok with that, but for the most part I hate it. I hate getting scared of things because of failure and I hate that I settle for those choices.

I have an old childhood friend that lives out in Los Angeles. She moved out there a few years ago to pursue her dream, acting. We did theater together as kids and have mildly stayed in touch over the years through facebook and random emails. I kinda decided on a whim (which I never do, I'm ridiculously unspontaneous) to save up 1000 bucks and fly out to LA. Originally I wanted to road trip it (I think the idea of a solo road trip is incredibly romantic) but the parentals didn't see the idea of me driving by myself for 48 hours very smart, so I got on a plane and headed west. This was the first time since I was 10 that I have flown by myself and only the 4th time I have flown in my life. I got to fly first class the entire way which was pretty bad ass, and surprisingly drinking during the flights made it much easier :) I had the time of my life out there. Met so many great people, got really familiar with the city and kinda realized that the last time in my life that I was happy doing something, truly happy, was acting.

I talked this over with my best friend who did improv in Austin during his time there, then moved to Chicago to do more improv and moved back to Dallas to figure out the next step in the progression, and recommended that I try out improv to get my feet wet again for the whole acting thing. I have always been scared of improv. I remember even in high school, they would have like crash courses on improv and I always avoided it like the plague. Ya know, how scary? To get up on stage in front of a bunch of people and just make shit up. No lines, no scripts, no stage direction, just get up there and GO!

But, I agreed to it. Cody got me in contact with the theater owners and I set myself up for an improv 1 class, and got myself an internship to help pay for the classes and was set. I started the week that I got back from LA.

Honest to God, I went into this just wanting to take a Level 1, get my jitters out and then be on my way to do another type of acting class at another theater that focused more on stage acting and film acting. I didn't know I would be drinking the kool-aid. I pretty much instantly fell in love with it. The freedom it allows you, the form, the amount of structure. Everything, I feel like such a fanboy for being so into it, but it's amazing. It was exactly what I needed, when I needed something the most. The community for improv in Austin is so supportive and accepting and willing to welcome any and everyone in.

I was starting to wonder if I wanted to be in Austin anymore, I hadn't made a lot of friends or found my niche and was thinking about moving out to LA or even back home to DFW. I'm quickly realizing that coming to Austin was supposed to happen.

I auditioned during level one for a house troupe through the theater I take classes and was surprised to find out that I had made the cut. So since February I have spent my Sunday mornings/afternoons rehearsing with 10 other crazy people to ready ourselves for our debut in June. We're nearing the premiere date and I'm getting kinda nervous but I think it's going to be pretty fun.

On a different note, Walt and I split up. After a 4 year run I decided it was time. He was/is a great guy and honestly I couldn't ask for more in a person but my heart was in a different place and I needed to set both of us free if I wasn't willing to put in the work anymore. I am consumed with making my life the way I want it to be right now and it just doesn't work with anyone else in it. It's totally selfish, fully aware, but we only live once, and I'm young. I feel like this is the time where I can sit down and examine everything I do and don't like about my life. I'm not saying that he was something I didn't like, but it wasn't something that I was fully invested in. It would have been that way had I been with anyone at the time. I have to focus on myself. And now I'm rambling.

I'm still working at both places. I equally hate them both, and don't make nearly enough but it is paying the bills and giving me a little extra. Still have some debt that I need to pay off and I'm slowly but surely working towards that. Trying to have it all paid off by the end of the year. Bah....this is long and I want to watch a movie..

Thanks for NOT reading...

<3>

Jess

Kittens and naps...

Gosh, sorry people for being such a total and utter flake. It's what I do, it's how I roll. It's why I'm so darn successful at life, cause I flake on everything. Ha. But I'm back. For at least right now, in at least this moment.

Things have happened...nothing too life shattering or world spinning in the last few months...but things to change me. Mentally I've grown up a lot. Realized what is important. I think that's good. Learned the importance of family and real friends (who in reality are family at the end of the day). Had one of my oldest friends get married to an incredible man in October, and got to share the experience with her (and look pretty hot at the same time). Had the chance to reconnect with her and another old friend and have pretty high hopes that this time around we won't loose the bond again. True friends are really hard to come by. When you have them, hold tight.

I figured out that you can't change people. You can love them, attempt to support them in their decisions, and just stand ideally by, but you can't change them. You can't make their decisions for them and you can't make them the person you think they should be. This is a hard lesson for me. I'm a total control freak, and when I see the potential in people, I want it to shine through. So much that I'm willing to ignore focusing on my potential in the process. This is stupid. I need to focus on myself. This is a trend that I tell myself over and over again, year after year, yet I still don't listen.

Too stubborn. Too afraid of rejection. I want these huge things, these huge dreams for myself, but I'm afraid if I try I will fail. I won't turn out to be as smart as I want to be, or as clever as I believe myself to be. Thus is why I'm at 23 with 2 dead end jobs, not totally unhappy, but not nearly as happy as I'd like to be.

I spent a couple of hours today looking at some people that I really look up to, figuring out where they went to college, what degrees they got. Thinking I'll finish some classes up at ACC (Austin Community College) and then see if I can transfer into Texas State. It's not UT, but I'm ok with that. It's pretty close to my house, 20 minute drive, has one of the largest journalism programs in the nation, and it's where LBJ graduated from, HOLLA!

I stress, then I look down at my sweet, sleeping kitty, snoring and enjoying the simple things. On that note, I will fit in a 30 minute nap before it's time to wait on people again.

Hot sauce and hedgehogs

הי blogisphere-

Far too long world. So so sorry! I have been working my little tail off to catch myself up and have more freedom. I always think about updating and then I find something to clean or a nap to be taken. Busy life I lead, obviously. But no, seriously, I will be better. I swear. My mom thinks it's important that I keep up with this, so 50 years from now I can go back and see what I had for dinner in 2009. Ha.

Walter is officially in Austin now, which is pretty great. My partner in crime is here to get into trouble with me. Unfortunately we haven't had a ton of time together, with me working two jobs and him getting settled into his house/office and having to go back to Dallas for work last weekend, but it's all good. Plenty of time will be had.

My friend Jenny who was in Panama all summer is home in Austin, which is pretty cool. Another human to interact with and give me more excuses to not go out and make friends. Ha.

The week was pretty good. I housesat for Walt while he went back to Dallas to work for a couple of days. It was nice. I slept a lot and watched movies on Netflix. Ted Kennedy died and it was pretty heartbreaking for me. End of Camelot. Thursday night I went out with Jenny and our friend Coop for "Thrashing Thursday" as they have so adorably coined it. Jenny's husband was out of town on business so we "thrashed" at her apartment in South Austin. Jenny's husband got her as a birthday gift a subscription to the Bloody Mary of the Month Club. Which is pretty flippin' awesome. So every month she'll get a new bloody mary mix. This months was modmix, which was a wasabi and ginger bloody mary mix. SO delicious. You can find it here if you're at all interested. I might buy some more. We finished that off and bought a couple more bottles that didn't really get cracked open, but I'm sure they will be finished at a later date. I forget how much I love bloody mary's sometime. I probably need to keep the mix on hand at home.

Friday was my first day off in a week or so from both jobs. I cleaned up around Walt's apartment (mostly stuff that I had made a mess of) and then headed back to my place to clean up. I cleaned out both animal cages (Oh by the way, I got a pet hedgehog from my friend Jessie who was moving to Rhode Island for grad school, his name is Slice, he's pretty hysterical) and swept and mopped my room, on top of laundry and dishes. Spent the night grocery shopping, all healthy things so I can loose some weight, and playing Warcraft online. Sounds not so eventful, but I got a lot done which is always the goal on a day off.

Saturday I worked lunch at Threadgill's, did ok, and went to work out with Walt while he did his laundry. The work out center at his apartment complex is pretty funny. It's the size of a small living room with 2 treadmills, 1 elliptical machine, 1 multi-purpose lifting machine, a bunch of mismatched weights, and 2 tvs that weren't plugged in, and too high to actually plug in yourself. We did some treadmilling and a few weights and sit ups and headed out. At least we did something. Ha. We showered and went out for dinner at Buca di Beppo in North Austin. It was incredible. Theres also a location in DFW but they are always so busy we never bother. Then we went to see Taking Woodstock, which is the new movie by Ang Lee (the director behind Brokeback Mountain). I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thought it was fun seeing all the preparation behind the most famous musical festival of all time.

Today we went to the Austin Hot Sauce Festival at Waterloo Park. It's apparently the largest hot sauce festival in the world, and one of the largest annual contests in the world. We met up with a bunch of friends. Had some good salsa, burnt my mouth with a salsa (whatever, it's not fair to call it a salsa) called The Source. But it was incredibly hot and very dusty out there so after a few hours we headed home.

Tonight is our weekly (or becoming so) night with the Roquemores. Where we sit at their house Walt and Lindy talk about computers and design, Reese and I talk about celebrity gossip and politics, and the kids sit idol by wondering when their bed time is. Ha.

Have a great week folks.

-littleJ

The Return of Someone Special

Ciao Blogisphere-

Wow. It has been far too long since I last updated. I apologize. I have gotten word from a few close friends and parents that they missed hearing about my boring day to day life, so here I go again. Stress and drama have seemed to follow me a bit to Austin, so I've been spending the last 2 weeks pushing it as far away from me as humanly possible. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, no matter what happens on the way, and I'm figuring that out slowly but surely.

I can't really remember what everyday happening has occurred since my last update. I had to actually go back and re-read what I had written.

My car will be ready from all the repair on Wednesday of this upcoming week, which makes me OH so happy. Although, experiencing life without a car for the first time in my adult life, has really made me think. When you have a car, you never really think about not having a car, and how much it stops you from doing things. I know for sure it's stopped me from being social. People will ask me out for a drink after work or something and out of respect of not wanting to make someone lug me around I decline the invite.

I've been taking the bus to work every night. At first it was a fun little adventure. People watching every time I took a ride. Seeing how the other people live. Now it's become more of an annoyance. The last week or so, the bus has been running really late, it's been a lot hotter outside, with school about to start the busses have been 50x busier than before. But I really don't mean to complain. I'm honestly just spoiled to sitting alone in my car with my NPR and my air conditioning and having the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I do appreciate Austin for having such an awesome bus line available so that I'm not forced to walk in 200 degree weather to and from work every night. If this would have happened in almost any other city in Texas I would have been royally screwed.

The jobs are going as well as they can. I'm figuring out FOR SURE that I'm ready to be back in school so that someday I can have a big girl job. I'm seeing people I know that I went to high school with that are just graduating college and starting their big people jobs this fall and I'm a little jealous. But that's all me, ya know. It's all what I'm willing to work for and willing to do to get where I need to be. I'll get there...slowly but surely. I'll finish school and I'll be happy with my life.

BIg announcement. Many of you have asked, and I'm happy to let you know that we have a new roommate at Blue House. CATSPUTIN!!! Walter was kind enough to bring him to me after lots of confusion and drama, and after only about 2 hours he was out and ready to play. He seems very excited and into his new environment and likes my roommates, which is a big plus. He's taking a cute catnap on my bed right now. :)

I'm going home this weekend for the first time. My good friend and wonderful next door neighbor, Kelsey, is kind enough to let me borrow her car for the weekend to drive home to see my family. My sister and her boys are in town from Florida and we're doing our annual family pictures. So that should be exciting. Plus I get to go back to my old job and work a shift, which is uber exciting. I miss all my customers and old partners. :)

Ok. Enough. I'm going to go throw back a few beers and hang out with some friends.

littleJ

Wrecks and Good Service

Tere Blogisphere-

Hm...I haven't updated in almost a week. And let me tell ya, it was an interesting week. I was to start my new job at Threadgill's on Tuesday evening at 5. I left work about 10 minutes early so that I could stop by Target (about 1o minutes north of my other job) to buy a belt for my first night. As I was about to exit to get onto the freeway I ran into a woman in front of me on the access road. I knew I had hit her pretty hard, but not until I got out of the car did I realize how bad the damage really was. The entire front end of my car pretty much was destroyed. Both the woman and I called the police out to the scene and after three calls and a little over an hour someone (or somethree) finally showed up. The officers were really nice and friendly (I guess they know how stressful this situation already is, and don't want to add to it, thanks Austin PD for this).

I got a ticket for "failure to maintain assured clear distance" whatever that means, and they called a tow truck out to get Attila (the Honda). One of my roommate, C, and his girlfriend came to get me and took me home.

I'm usually a very scared person when it comes to four things, spiders, needles, plastic bags (don't ask), and car accidents. Anyone that knows me well, knows that I always jump when there is an accident scene in movies or anything. One of my best friends since childhood, Destiny, and I were in a pretty awful accident our junior year in high school and that moment, along with my first wreck, always just stick in the back of my head. Remembering how scared we were. The look on Destiny's mom's face when she drove up to the crash and saw Destiny being rolled into a stretcher. How afraid my mom was hearing the accident because I was on the phone with her when the crash happened. I never wanted to put anyone through that or put myself through that again. Accidents are traumatic events in lives. But this one was different.

My heart didn't even skip a beat when I slammed into the woman. It was like instantly my adrenaline kicked in and reminded me "Jessica you're on your own here...you have to get this together and figure this out, cause Mom and Dad aren't 10 miles away to come save your butt." And I did. I called the insurance company, filed a claim, figured out where the car would be sent, found a ride home, and called the new job to let them know what was going on, and that I probably wouldn't make it to work. It was like instantly in that moment I became an adult. Very strange situation.

Yes, I was still, VERY upset, I love my baby, and I love my freedom that it allows me, but I realized that it happened for a reason, to teach me some lesson, and reenforced my idea of how lucky I am. I'm in the right place right now, surrounded (from near and afar) by the right people, who love me and support me for the right reasons.

The car isn't totaled, thank god, only (yeah right) $6000 in damage, but I have wonderful full coverage insurance that is taking care of all but $500. With the new job that should be easy to do in the 2 weeks it will take me to get her back.

So watch our roads, I will conquer you again. Soon!

In the meantime, another one of my roommates, B, is kind enough to let me borrow his car to get to the early morning job. I can use the bus system in Austin any other time, but it doesn't run that early in the morning, and I think he'd rather just let me drive it 10 miles than have to get up at 4am to take me. Smart guy!

I officially learned how to ride a public bus though. Small feat I know, but very big for me. I've always wanted to be a "city girl" but I'm a pretty big pansy when I come to actually doing that. So now I'm one with the city, late at night riding home with the drunks, homeless, and other carless citizens of the good city of Austin. Maybe I can't save a life, but I can save the ozone layer, one less car ride at a time. I'm thinking I might stick to the bus thing even when I do get my car back. It's a lot cheaper, and a lot cleaner.

A good friend, Conan, was kind enough to take me out for dinner and margaritas the night of my accident. I think I needed the human interaction and the getting out of my house. I've cooped myself up in my room a lot in the last few weeks. I'm punishing myself for not having saved more before I moved, so I figure if I hermit I won't spend the little cash I do have. That and I'm exhausted from trying to figure out how to have 2 semi-full (more than part-time-less than full-time) jobs.

I'm enjoying Threadgill's. The people are very kind, and extremely laid back. It's working there that makes me realize why I'm not employed at the sushi restaurant I was at before. These are more my people, the food is more my style. I love getting to listen to live bluegrass on Sunday mornings while I'm waiting tables. Pretty sweet deal.

I finish training on Tuesday and plan to pick up a bunch of shifts until I have enough saved to pay my car damage off ASAP.

I'm exhausted for today. Been up since 4am and worked at both jobs. So I'm going to try and crash early. I promise to update more soon!

-littleJ

Mint and Short Weekends...

привет Blogisphere- 

I took a few days off so that something interesting would happen in my life to write about. Ha. 

Life is slowly, but surely falling into place. 

I worked most of the weekend early mornings at Starbucks, and Walt came down Saturday afternoon. We had burgers (veggie) for lunch and then hit up a happy hour special at a bar downtown (219 West). We decided the next day that we should have had one less martini at happy hour, but they were so delicious and well priced it was hard to say no. Walt had his first Mint Julip, which always makes me feel like a Southern Plantation worker in South Carolina waiting for my tobacco to be harvested. He enjoyed it. But what's not to enjoy about it? We realized how less uppity the restaurants/bars in Austin are than the ones we had encountered in Dallas/Fort Worth. Walt and I are both young, and we both also look young for our age. So usually when I walk into a more upscale restaurant/bar, no matter how I'm dressed, I get a dirty look from either the servers or the bartenders. I can see the wheels spinning in their heads as they think to themselves..."OH great...more college kids that are going to stiff me"...when in reality I'm an incredible tipper, who will give the worst service at least something to go home with. But at this particular restaurant, we got really great service and didn't feel the usual intimidation that we feel at these type of establishments. It made me actually feel like an adult, which is all I want to feel most days. 

We probably made an unwise choice of going to see Harry Potter after drinking the aforementioned martinis, because we both ended up falling asleep in the movie. I ranted afterwards about how bad it probably was because I hardly ever fall asleep in movies...but when I thought about it more, it was a combination of the alcohol, the fact that the movie didn't start until 10:45pm when I had worked all morning without a nap, and he had driven all day without a nap, and maybe a bit of boredom. Both of us agreed that we'd go see again, maybe separately, in the daylight hours. 

Walt left pretty early Sunday afternoon to head back to Arlington. He brought my bike with him thought, which I'm totally excited about. It's still a bit too hot for me to ride it in the day (I know I'm a huge, air conditioned pansy) but I want to get used to the heat somehow, and maybe riding to the grocery store or to get coffee will condition me. Plus I'd like to loose some weight, or at least tone up, and I've seen what riding has done for Dustin. I defiantly wouldn't mind that. 

Been catching up a lot on Warcraft (nerdy I know), and I reinstated my Netflix account, after asking around about movie stores in the area. Most have agreed that the typical Austinite uses Netflix or Blockbuster online. While I'm all about supporting my local business...I'm also about saving money and convenience. Netflix offers me the ability to watch tv shows and movies instantly from my computer, and then they also send me movies in the mail. Can't ask for much more.

Had my first day at Threadgill's today. Just an orentation of the restaurant, and an introduction to all the employees and the layout. Easy enough. I have my first official training day on Wednesday evening, and I wrap up my training schedule on Tuesday of next week, so hopefully I can start picking up some shifts after that. Then the dough will just start rolling in and I will bathe in dollar bills and diamonds. 

On a side note, I know a lot of you have had a special family member in your thoughts and prayers. He's needed it and finally I think God is really starting to put the ball back into his court. I got an update from him today and he sounded really optimistic and excited about his new lease on life. He moves into a new apartment on Monday and he starts a new job at the beginning of Austin. Please continue to think about him as I know times get tough and we all can fall from Grace. Hearing from him, and that he's doing well, was a HUGE weight off my shoulders, and it just made my day more than I can describe. He wants to keep Mr. Catsputin, he says they have bonded. I'm questioning whether or not I should let this happen. Don't get me wrong, I love my cat more than mac and cheese, but I worry what damage it will do to him moving him this far, with a dog in the house (he's not friendly towards other stuff(and by stuff, i mean anything other than what he's been used to for the last 4 years)). I will sleep on this notion and have a decision by the end of the week. 

-little J

Potatoes and Harry Potter

Wataj Blogisphere-

 

I'm realizing that God really has a plan for me and things are going to be ok. I had a second interview yesterday at a restaurant in town called "Threadgill's". After my interview she asked if I could come back in an hour to interview with the server manager. I came back and the guy was very nice. He told me it was between me and another girl and that he'd call me by Friday to let me know. I got a call about an hour later letting me know I got a job. :) 

I start on Monday. So I'll probably spend the weekend learning the menu. Fine by me, I don't have much to do anyways. Walt's coming on Saturday I think. He's decided to get an apartment, so he'll probably be looking at areas he wants to live in. 

I have decided that I want to get better at cooking. When I actually take the time out and try I'm ok at it. It's just rare that I make the time and do it. But it's very therapeutic. I haven't done much cooking since I got here. More like combining and heating things up. Which is fine, but not as fun. Until I have a steady income coming in from both jobs I'm being pretty frugal with everything, including groceries, so I'm making due with what I have. I'm making cheesy potato pancakes. The first round was a very unsuccessful so i threw some sour cream on top and just ate them. I made them smaller and now they are turning out pretty well. Make for a good lunch tomorrow at work. 

I'm a little bummed. This week I realized I'm growing up and it kinda made me sad. Honestly the saddest part is the realization came from Harry Potter. This is the first year that I haven't seen HP at midnight. I know this is small, but it's odd. Every year my friends and I would get really excited, throw little parties, read the books, different things, and then all go see the movie together. This year I didn't really have the huge urge that I have in years past. Perhaps partly because I was so disappointed in the 5th installment, partly because I was here and had no one to share the extreme excitement that a midnight Harry Potter entails.  

I'll see if Walt wants to go see it with me this weekend. It might be nice to see it without as many fanatics around. Ha.