Kittens and naps...

Gosh, sorry people for being such a total and utter flake. It's what I do, it's how I roll. It's why I'm so darn successful at life, cause I flake on everything. Ha. But I'm back. For at least right now, in at least this moment.

Things have happened...nothing too life shattering or world spinning in the last few months...but things to change me. Mentally I've grown up a lot. Realized what is important. I think that's good. Learned the importance of family and real friends (who in reality are family at the end of the day). Had one of my oldest friends get married to an incredible man in October, and got to share the experience with her (and look pretty hot at the same time). Had the chance to reconnect with her and another old friend and have pretty high hopes that this time around we won't loose the bond again. True friends are really hard to come by. When you have them, hold tight.

I figured out that you can't change people. You can love them, attempt to support them in their decisions, and just stand ideally by, but you can't change them. You can't make their decisions for them and you can't make them the person you think they should be. This is a hard lesson for me. I'm a total control freak, and when I see the potential in people, I want it to shine through. So much that I'm willing to ignore focusing on my potential in the process. This is stupid. I need to focus on myself. This is a trend that I tell myself over and over again, year after year, yet I still don't listen.

Too stubborn. Too afraid of rejection. I want these huge things, these huge dreams for myself, but I'm afraid if I try I will fail. I won't turn out to be as smart as I want to be, or as clever as I believe myself to be. Thus is why I'm at 23 with 2 dead end jobs, not totally unhappy, but not nearly as happy as I'd like to be.

I spent a couple of hours today looking at some people that I really look up to, figuring out where they went to college, what degrees they got. Thinking I'll finish some classes up at ACC (Austin Community College) and then see if I can transfer into Texas State. It's not UT, but I'm ok with that. It's pretty close to my house, 20 minute drive, has one of the largest journalism programs in the nation, and it's where LBJ graduated from, HOLLA!

I stress, then I look down at my sweet, sleeping kitty, snoring and enjoying the simple things. On that note, I will fit in a 30 minute nap before it's time to wait on people again.