I thought, hey maybe I'll just start a new blog, but we all know that won't go anywhere. So I will just add on to this one.
The amount of things that have changed in my life since the last entry, November, is mind blowing.
I had a moment of clarity. I decided how tired I am of saying that I'm going to do things and not doing them. I'm a notorious flake and at times I'm ok with that, but for the most part I hate it. I hate getting scared of things because of failure and I hate that I settle for those choices.
I have an old childhood friend that lives out in Los Angeles. She moved out there a few years ago to pursue her dream, acting. We did theater together as kids and have mildly stayed in touch over the years through facebook and random emails. I kinda decided on a whim (which I never do, I'm ridiculously unspontaneous) to save up 1000 bucks and fly out to LA. Originally I wanted to road trip it (I think the idea of a solo road trip is incredibly romantic) but the parentals didn't see the idea of me driving by myself for 48 hours very smart, so I got on a plane and headed west. This was the first time since I was 10 that I have flown by myself and only the 4th time I have flown in my life. I got to fly first class the entire way which was pretty bad ass, and surprisingly drinking during the flights made it much easier :) I had the time of my life out there. Met so many great people, got really familiar with the city and kinda realized that the last time in my life that I was happy doing something, truly happy, was acting.
I talked this over with my best friend who did improv in Austin during his time there, then moved to Chicago to do more improv and moved back to Dallas to figure out the next step in the progression, and recommended that I try out improv to get my feet wet again for the whole acting thing. I have always been scared of improv. I remember even in high school, they would have like crash courses on improv and I always avoided it like the plague. Ya know, how scary? To get up on stage in front of a bunch of people and just make shit up. No lines, no scripts, no stage direction, just get up there and GO!
But, I agreed to it. Cody got me in contact with the theater owners and I set myself up for an improv 1 class, and got myself an internship to help pay for the classes and was set. I started the week that I got back from LA.
Honest to God, I went into this just wanting to take a Level 1, get my jitters out and then be on my way to do another type of acting class at another theater that focused more on stage acting and film acting. I didn't know I would be drinking the kool-aid. I pretty much instantly fell in love with it. The freedom it allows you, the form, the amount of structure. Everything, I feel like such a fanboy for being so into it, but it's amazing. It was exactly what I needed, when I needed something the most. The community for improv in Austin is so supportive and accepting and willing to welcome any and everyone in.
I was starting to wonder if I wanted to be in Austin anymore, I hadn't made a lot of friends or found my niche and was thinking about moving out to LA or even back home to DFW. I'm quickly realizing that coming to Austin was supposed to happen.
I auditioned during level one for a house troupe through the theater I take classes and was surprised to find out that I had made the cut. So since February I have spent my Sunday mornings/afternoons rehearsing with 10 other crazy people to ready ourselves for our debut in June. We're nearing the premiere date and I'm getting kinda nervous but I think it's going to be pretty fun.
On a different note, Walt and I split up. After a 4 year run I decided it was time. He was/is a great guy and honestly I couldn't ask for more in a person but my heart was in a different place and I needed to set both of us free if I wasn't willing to put in the work anymore. I am consumed with making my life the way I want it to be right now and it just doesn't work with anyone else in it. It's totally selfish, fully aware, but we only live once, and I'm young. I feel like this is the time where I can sit down and examine everything I do and don't like about my life. I'm not saying that he was something I didn't like, but it wasn't something that I was fully invested in. It would have been that way had I been with anyone at the time. I have to focus on myself. And now I'm rambling.
I'm still working at both places. I equally hate them both, and don't make nearly enough but it is paying the bills and giving me a little extra. Still have some debt that I need to pay off and I'm slowly but surely working towards that. Trying to have it all paid off by the end of the year. Bah....this is long and I want to watch a movie..
Thanks for NOT reading...
<3>
Jess
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